(2) Die Höhle des verrückten Druiden
Seit der ersten D&D-Runde, in der eine Gruppe Irgendwann-Helden loszog, halbwegs heldenhafte Dinge zu tun, ist jetzt über ein Monat vergangen und besagte Helden haben bereits einiges erlebt. Das Spielen macht mir unglaublich viel Spaß, zu meiner Schurkin Ria habe ich einen guten Zugang und es dräuen Bösewichte, Geheimnisse und mögliche Verschwörungen am Horizont.
Ich fühle mich so kreativ wie schon lange nicht mehr, zeichne eifrig Karten und anderen Kram, erweitere meine Aufzeichnungen und schreibe brav (und mit viel Spaß bei der Sache) mein Tagebuch.
Doch obwohl ich im Moment nicht genug bekommen kann von D&D und allem, was damit zu tun hat, fällt mir eine Sache unerwartet schwer: Das Schreiben von Blogeinträgen über genau diese Abenteuer. Heute will ich mich trotzdem endlich mal dransetzen – sonst mache ich es nie und ärgere mich ständig darüber.
Nach dem ersten Abenteuer verließen wir unsere Helden vor einer Wolfshöhle, auf der Suche nach Räubern, die den Dorfhändler ausgeraubt und erschlagen hatten. Dachten wir jedenfalls zu diesem Zeitpunkt noch.
Es hat sich inzwischen herausgestellt, dass wir recht gut darin sind, uns zu irren.
So war die Wolfshöhle gar keine Wolfshöhle, sondern wurde im vorderen Teil von einer wirklich riesigen Riesenspinne bewohnt, die sich unser bis dahin noch fehlendes Gruppenmitglied geschnappt hatte und gedachte, es in naher Zukunft zu verspeisen. Wir hörten die Hilferufe des armen Halblingsbarden und …
Und jeder vernünftige Mensch weiß: Wo um Hilfe gerufen wird, besteht potentiell Lebensgefahr und deshalb bewegt man sich, wenn überhaupt, von diesem Punkt weg. Nicht auf ihn zu.
Zum Glück für unseren Barden sind die restlichen Gruppenmitglieder nicht so feige wie meine Schurkin und wir befreiten ihn aus seiner misslichen Lage. Er sei auf der Suche nach Helden, erzählte er uns, über die er Balladen schreiben und Lieder dichten wolle. Man habe ihm gesagt, die wären hier irgendwo zu finden. Nun, damit meinte er nicht uns – sondern den Inhalt der spinnischen Vorratskammer. Drei Leichen, die die längste Zeit über Helden gewesen waren (falls man sie überhaupt jemals so hätte nennen können).
Beim Plündern schafften wir es auf Anhieb, den besten Loot zu übersehen, bevor wir tiefer in die Finsternis vordrangen. Die erste Verzweigung des Weges und die damit verbundene Entscheidung, links oder rechts zu gehen, meisterten wir ebenfalls, und stießen auf unser erstes Rätsel (das gar kein Rätsel war, sondern Deko – wie ich später aus verlässlicher Quelle erfuhr).
Aber was soll man denken, wenn da plötzlich ein mysteriöser Steinkreis auftaucht, mit sieben Steinen, auf denen Wörter in allen möglichen Sprachen stehen, und einem fehlenden Stein?
Weil niemand von uns auch nur den Hauch einer Idee hatte, wie dieses Rätsel zu lösen sein könnte (während sich unser Spielleiter vermutlich innerlich kaputtlachte), gingen wir erst einmal weiter, um am nächsten Hindernis zu scheitern: Ein überfluteter Tunnel, in dem wir hätten tauchen müssen, um ihn zu erkunden. Es stellte sich heraus: Dafür war dann doch die gesamte Gruppe zu feige.
Als Spieler hätte ich am liebsten in die Tischkante gebissen, weil ich überzeugt war, da unten müsse es etwas Tolles geben. Und gleichzeitig war es unglaublich lustig, wie wir als Gruppe sofort und einstimmig diesen Tunnel abgehakt haben. Wir sind eben alle noch Abenteurer in Ausbildung.
Schließlich entdeckten wir den eigentlichen Bewohner dieser Höhle und Verursacher des seltsamen Verhaltens der Waldtiere: den verrückten Druiden.
Der Tunnel mündete in einer weiteren Höhle, die von grünlich leuchtenden Flammen in unwirkliches Licht getaucht wurde. Überflüssig zu erwähnen, dass diese Flammen natürlich in der Luft schwebten. In dem Kreis, den sie bildeten, kniete der irre Druide (auf den ersten Blick nicht als irre erkennbar – womit wir wieder bei der Sache mit dem ersten Eindruck wären), und um ihn herum – ich lüge nicht! – Dutzende, wenn nicht sogar hundert kleine Tiere: Eichhörnchen, Ratten, Wiesel, Vögel, Mäuse, Kaninchen, Igel, Waschbären und wie die Viecher nicht alle heißen. Genau wie die Wölfe gestern sahen sie alle regelrecht … zerfetzt aus. Nur noch schlimmer. Zerhackt, mit kahlen Stellen und offenen Wunden und blutverschmierten Mäulern. Der ganze Boden innerhalb dieses Flammenkreises war bedeckt von verfilzten, struppigen Fell- und Federknäulen.
Und sie alle starrten den Mann in ihrer Mitte an: Nur mit einer Hose bekleidet, das Haar genauso verfilzte wie der Pelz der Tiere, mit Blättern und Ästen darin, als habe ein Baum auf ihm herumgekaut und ihn dann wieder ausgespuckt.
Auf der nackten Brust lag eine Halskette, ein silbernes Amulett mit einem grünen Wolfskopf darauf. Und von der Stelle aus, an der das Silber auflag, zogen grüne Adern durch seine Haut. Ich weiß, dass tatsächlich die Adern grün waren und nicht nur durch das Licht so wirkten, weil ich es aus nächster Nähe gesehen habe.
Der Versuch, mit dem Druiden zu reden, scheiterte kläglich. Zwar weckte unsere gruppeneigene Druidin kurz sein Interesse, sprechen wollte er mit uns dann aber doch nicht. Für Ria – die eine starke Abneigung und eine damit einhergehende Voreingenommenheit gegen Magie und diesen Kram hat – war schnell klar: Der arme Kerl muss durch das Amulett von einem bösen Nekromanten versklavt worden sein. (Ja, sie spinnt sich manchmal recht abstruse Geschichten in ihrem hübschenHalbelfen-Köpfchen zurecht). Deshalb wollte sie hingehen und ihn davon befreien. Was der hauseigene Zombie-Streichelzoo nicht besonders gut fand.
Ehe wir uns versahen, stürzten sich Unmengen von Waldbewohnern auf uns – ebenso wie der Druide. Das war der Tag, an dem die Würfel mir offenbarten, dass Ria entweder in ihrer Vergangenheit Kammerjäger gewesen war, oder einfach ein ernsthaftes Problem mit Nagetieren hat. Das ganze Kleinvieh erledigte ich quasi im Alleingang, so viele 20er (kritische Treffer) hab ich in diesem Kampf gewürfelt. Der Druide sah dann irgendwann auch ein, dass wir einfach zu toll für ihn waren, und verschwand durch die Wand.
Nach der ersten Sekunde allgemeiner Verwirrung wollte unser Barbar hinterher – und rannte mit Anlauf gegen massiven Stein. Ria schreckte das ab und sie versuchte es gar nicht erst, aber unsere Druidin wollte ihren durchgedrehten Kollegen nicht einfach so entkommen lassen. Sie schaffte ihren Rettungswurf gegen den Illusionszauber und verschwand ebenfalls vor unseren Augen im Fels. Unser Waldläufer scheiterte bei seinem ersten Versuch – und meine Schurkin schüttelte nur den Kopf und zerlegte weiterhin ungerührt mit Barde und Barbar tollwütige Kuscheltiere.
Wäre die Illusionswand nicht nach einer Weile verschwunden, weil der Druide sich zu weit entfernt hatte, wären wir wahrscheinlich nie rausgekommen.
Erneut hieß es für uns: Spuren finden und folgen – einen Wurf, den ich inzwischen gar nicht mehr mache, weil meine Blindfisch-Schurkin sowieso nie was entdeckt. Wozu hat man schließlich einen Waldläufer dabei?
Der führte uns zuverlässig durch den Wald – auf dem Weg wurde noch ein wildes Wildschwein erlegt, das wir auf dem Rückweg als Abendessen einpackten – und schließlich fanden wir den entlaufenen Druiden auf einem Baum. Oder er fand uns. Obwohl er schon ziemlich angeschlagen war, leistete er erbittert Widerstand. Unser Barbar hielt ihn am Boden und unser Barde wollte behilflich sein und den Druiden auf magischem Wege schlafen schicken.
Dummerweise erwischte der Zauber den Barbar.
Der Druide revanchierte sich, indem er dem Barden und meiner Schurkin die letzten Trefferpunkte raubte, bevor er endgültig sein Leben aushauchte. Zum Glück hat unsere gruppeneigene Druidin – die gute Seele! – an nichts mehr Spaß, als die Schwachen und Kranken wieder aufzupäppeln.
Das (sehr wahrscheinlich verfluchte) Amulett wurde natürlich eingepackt (wie gute Abenteurer das so tun), das Lager des Druiden sorgfältig geplündert und der Rest der Höhle nach einer kurzen Rast (und einem wohlverdienten Stufenaufstieg) zu Ende erkundet. Dabei sahen wir uns auch das Deko-Steinkreis-Rätsel nochmal an – und schreckten mit unserer Suchaktion nach dem fehlenden Stein die ansässige Vegetation auf.
Riesenspinnen, Zombieeichhörnchen, ein irrer Druide – man meint, man hat alles gesehen und dann springen einen plötzlich Bäume und Büsche an!
Titus die Tanne und ihre blättrigen Begleiter hatten unserer geballten (und frisch aufgelevelten) Heldenhaftigkeit allerdings kaum etwas entgegenzusetzen. 
Mit Axt und Feuer fällten wir das Gestrüpp und fanden eine Kiste voller mysteriöser Briefe mit Hinweisen auf einen vor Jahrhunderten vernichteten Nekromanten-Orden und auf einen ebenfalls eigentlich der Vergangenheit angehörenden Meisterspion. Vermutlich hoffte unser Spielleiter darauf, wir würden das Nicht-Rätsel des Steinkreises vergessen, wenn wir nur genug andere Dinge hätten, über die wir uns den Kopf zerbrechen konnten.
Sein Plan ging auf.
Zu guter Letzt stolperten wir noch in den unbewohnten Teil des Höhlensystems: ein verlassenes Schmugglerlager voller unbrauchbar gewordener Waren. Sehr viel wichtiger war für uns aber ohnehin die neue Fährte, auf die wir dort stießen.
Bevor wir allerdings unsere Suche nach den Räubern fortsetzen konnten, musste noch der Ochse, den wir uns im Dorf geborgt hatten, gerettet werden. Der hatte sich nämlich losgerissen, war im Wald in eine Grube gestürzt und hatte sich die Beine gebrochen. Oder, um es mit Rias Worten zu sagen:
Wir hätten ihn schlachten sollen. Das dumme Vieh.
(Hinweis: Dem Ochsen geht es gut. Es wurde ein Flaschenzug gebaut, das Tier geborgen, die Beine geheilt, und jetzt darf er sein friedliches Leben weiterleben, bis sein Heimatdorf von randalierenden Söldnerbanden geplündert und gebrandschatzt wird und er doch noch als leckerer Braten über dem Feuer landet.)
Im nächsten Beitrag (der hoffentlich nicht so lange auf sich warten lässt), werden die Helden weiterziehen, um Räuber zu finden, die keine Räuber sind, einen grünen Drachen zu treffen, der kein grüner Drache ist, und von Bösewichten zu erfahren, die vielleicht Bösewichte sind. Vielleicht aber auch nicht.
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