Mai 1 2016

Sprich mit mir! (Dialoge)

Ich freue mich (fast) immer, wenn ich Dialoge schreiben kann. Das mache ich gerne und das mache ich – so ich Lesermeinungen Glauben schenken darf – gut. Es macht mir einfach wahnsinnig Spaß, weil ich nicht darüber nachdenken muss. Meine Figuren reißen das Ruder an sich und plaudern (oder streiten) drauf los.
Oft führt es dazu, dass die Art, wie meine Figuren sprechen, zum Teil ihrer Persönlichkeit wird und sich anders herum auch ihre Persönlichkeit in ihrer Art zu sprechen niederschlägt. Beim Schreiben von Dialogen fühle ich mich meinen Charakteren so nah, dass ich einfach weiß, wie sie sich ausdrücken, welches Vokabular und welchen Umgangston sie nutzen und welche Spracheigenheiten sie so haben.

Trotzdem versuche ich hin und wieder zu ergründen, welche Mittel ich wie stark einsetze (vor allem wenn ich doch mal an einer Stelle Probleme habe), oder was mich an einem gelesenen Dialog stört, vielleicht stark genug, um das Buch wegzulegen. Denn (Aus-)Sprache lässt sich nicht immer (einfach) in Schriftform übertragen.

 

Dialekt

Damit hat man in Fantasy-Welten zum Glück eher weniger zu tun (beim Schreiben wie beim Lesen). Auch bei meinen Real-Welt-Geschichten verwende ich persönlich keinen Dialekt, weil ich es beim Lesen (und Schreiben) schlicht und ergreifend furchtbar umständlich finde.
So ein bisschen Berliner Zunge (ick statt ich, je- statt ge-) versteh ich ja noch (trotzdem hemmt es meinen Lesefluss), aber wenn zum Beispiel ein Bayer loslegt, schaltet mein Kopf ab.

Kinna dad i scho, oba meng dua i ned. (Ich könnte schon, aber ich mag nicht)
Ick schmiet die lieks mit een Pantuffel! (Ich werfe gleich eine Pantoffel nach Dir!)
De daar deit, wat he kann, is wert, dat he leevt.  (Wer tut, was er kann, ist des Lebens wert)

Über solche Sätze (vor allem, wenn sie ohne Übersetzung daherkommen) stolpere ich und ärgere mich, dass ich erstmal entschlüsseln muss, was überhaupt gesagt wurde.
Etwas angenehmer finde ich da die Variante, Hochdeutsch mit einigen gezielten Eigenarten des angestrebten Dialekts zu mischen. Beim Schreiben fällt es mir allerdings recht schwer, die richtige Dosis zu finden – es klingt schnell lächerlich.

Ich habe einen Geschichtenanfang, in dem die Protagonistin einen Ausflug in die Eifel unternimmt und dort Kontakt mit einer Einheimischen hat. Im Verlauf der Geschichte sollten alle weiteren Figuren Hochdeutsch sprechen, ich wollte nur diese „Fremdartigkeit“ am Anfang einmal drin haben, weil Eifler Platt für mich unweigerlich zur Eifelatmosphäre dazugehört.

»Dem Diederich sein Ältest, dat Sarah, war ja ganz anners wie sein Mutter«, erzählte Frau Giebels gerade. »Richtig frech konnt dat werden, hat sein Mutter bloß Kummer gemacht. Bis et dann vonner Leiter gefallen ist. Dat war ein Trubel, ich sag et Euch. Ins Krankenhaus haben se et gebracht, weil et sich den Kopp blutig geschlagen hat. Danach war et wie ausgewechselt.«

Ich finde selbst jedesmal, dass sich die Mischung seltsam liest, weil es eben weder richtiges Hochdeutsch noch Eifler Platt ist. Aber dafür versteht der Leser den Inhalt.

 

Füllwörter

„So spricht doch keiner!“ – die Kritik hört und liest man oft, wenn es um Dialoge geht. Damit ist allerdings keinesfalls gemeint, dass Dialoge eins zu eins aus dem Leben in ein Buch übertragen werden sollten. Sie sollen natürlich und echt klingen, es aber nicht sein. Denn wenn wir reden, benutzen wir unheimlich viele Füller, um sogenannte Hesitationspausen zu überbrücken (ähm, äh,  hm …), verhaspeln uns, bringen Sätze nicht korrekt zu Ende, vertauschen Wörter, wiederholen uns, usw.
Das alles gehört (meistens) nicht in die wörtliche Rede von Romanfiguren.

Ein gezieltes „Ähm“, um die Ratlosigkeit des Protagonisten auszudrücken, oder ein sprachloses „Ja, also … ich, hm … keine Ahnung wie …“ im Raum stören mich da überhaupt nicht. Nur wenn es häufig vorkommt, entwickelt mein Kopf eine Abneigung gegen den Sprecher.
Um gezielt Akzente zu setzen oder einem Gespräch auch ohne viel Beschreibung einen gewissen Klang zu geben, finde ich solche Füller nicht verkehrt.
Lustigerweise war ich während des Schreibens dieses Beitrags überzeugt, auch hierfür schnell ein Beispiel in meinen eigenen Geschichten zu finden und fand … nichts. Aber dann fiel mir die kleine Vampir-Geschichte ein, die ich irgendwann einmal begonnen hatte, und siehe da:
(Der beste Freund der Protagonistin hat ihr gerade bei einem Cappuccino im Café offenbart, dass er ein Vampir ist – und dass er ein Problem hat.)

»Ein Jäger ist hinter mir her.« […]
»Ein Vampirjäger?«
»Gut kombiniert, Watson. Gestern war er in meiner Wohnung, deshalb kann ich da nicht mehr hin.«
»Oh … ähm … das … tut mir Leid?«

Ihr fehlen die Worte, die passende Erwiderung in einem solchen Gespräch. Diese Hilflosigkeit / Sprachlosigkeit, gepaart mit dem Willen, trotzdem etwas zu sagen, können vereinzelte Füller (immer in Maßen!) ohne erklärende Beisätze ausgezeichnet ausdrücken.

 

Undeutliche Aussprache

In meinen Fantasy-Geschichten hatte ich mit dem Thema bisher nicht oft zu tun, aber bei Kumen-Esh gibt es gleich mehrere Fälle, in denen Figuren vor sich hinnuscheln oder aus anderen Gründen nicht deutlich zu verstehen sind. Eine Patent-Lösung, die ohne nachzudenken auf alle Fälle angewandt werden kann, habe ich nicht. Stattdessen versuche ich, möglichst breitflächig an das Problem heranzugehen.

Zum einen gibt es da meinen Elfen Nate, der die allgemein gesprochene Sprache zwar beherrscht, aber einfach keinen Bock hat, sich deutlich zu artikulieren. Das gehört so sehr zu seinem Charakter, dass ich bei dem ersten Kapitel, das ich ungefähr in der Mitte des Romans aus Nates Sicht schreiben wollte, Probleme hatte, grammatikalisch korrekte und vollständige Sätze/Wörter zu schreiben. Weil es einfach nicht zu Nate gepasst hat. In wörtlicher Rede neigt er dazu, den letzten Buchstaben eines Wortes (besonders wenn es ein T ist) wegzulassen und ich bin mir noch uneins, ob ich jedes Mal einen Apostroph setzen soll oder nicht. Es sieht im Textbild ein bisschen merkwürdig aus, ich persönlich finde es mit aber einfacher zu lesen, weil man direkt sieht, wo ein Buchstabe fehlt.

»Du has’ genug Ärger wegen mir. Konnt ja nich’ ahnen, dass es so schief geht. Ich wollt dich nich’ mit reinzieh’n.«
»Aber ich kann’s dir aufmalen, wenn du’s nich’ verstehs’.«

Bei den Elfen, die mit weniger Eloquenz gesegnet sind und sich mit der Sprache schwertun, habe ich mich darauf beschränkt, diesen Umstand in einer Beschreibung zu erwähnen und binde manchmal englische Wörter mit ein, um darauf zu verweisen, dass der Sprecher kein Muttersprachler ist. Genauso mache ich es bei leicht undeutlicher Aussprache: Wörtliche Rede normal, mit externer Beschreibung. Simpel, aber alles andere würde zu stark ablenken, finde ich.

»Eure Bestellung und ein paar Sachen für den Neuzugang«, erklärte er mit starkem Akzent.
»Eine gute Ablenkung.« Hitoro nuschelte leicht – wahrscheinlich würde er in ein paar Minuten nicht mehr ansprechbar sein.

Hin und wieder gibt es dann die einfachste aller Varianten, dass der Prota zwar hört, dass etwas gesagt wird, aber überhaupt nicht versteht, worum es geht. Da spare ich mir (meistens) sämtliche Anführungszeichen und packe es einfach in Beschreibung.

Die Frau kam zurück, murmelte etwas und öffnete die Kartons.
Einer sagte etwas, unverständlich durch den Hall und die Distanz …

Was ich wirklich nie mache, ist fehlerhafte Aussprache (wie lispeln oder nuscheln) in der wörtlichen Rede darzustellen. (Wenn man Nates Hang zur Wortverkürzung nicht dazu zählt.) Mich hat schon früher bei den Asterix-Heften immer furchtbar gestört, dass nach einer Schlägerei niemand mehr ein S aussprechen konnte und es überall durch ein F ersetzt wurde. Da schreibe ich meine Rede lieber ganz normal und erwähne hin und wieder, dass der Sprecher lispelt oder das R komisch rollt oder sowas. Lautmalerisch dargestellt empfinde ich das als extrem störend.

 

Fremde Sprachen

Das wiederum ist ein Punkt, mit dem ich ungleich mehr in meinen Fantasy-Werken zu tun habe (über das elfische Englisch in Kumen-Esh schreibe ich vielleicht mal einen eigenen Beitrag).
Allzu viel Fremdsprache vertrage ich (als Leser) in einer Geschichte normalerweise nicht. Oft kommt mir die Verwendung vor, als wolle der Autor nur seine hübsche, erfundene Sprache präsentieren. Wenn sich dann zwei Charaktere über ganze Absätze unterhalten und ich maximal jedes zweite Wort verstehe, steige ich aus, genauso wie ich die Augen verdrehe, wenn jeder alltägliche Gegenstand eine fremdsprachige Bezeichnung bekommt.
Andererseits können gezielt verwendete Begriffe ein herrlich exotisches Gefühl schaffen. Ich selbst spiele unheimlich gerne mit Sprache in Dialogen von Nicht-Muttersprachlern und muss mich manchmal zurückhalten, um es nicht zu sehr in den Mittelpunkt zu stellen.

»Wir gingen durch die Sümpfe, mit einigen Phratag-sweln. Wir jagten eine Gruppe Phratag, da kamen die Wester zu uns. Sie halfen gegen die Phratag, doch die Sweln sind Freie. Jäger ohne Befehl. Sie griffen alles an, das nicht vom Herzbaum war.«

Bezeichnungen und Phrasen verwende ich schon recht gerne (Bezeichnungen für andere Volksgruppen, Personen oder Gegenstände / Begrüßung, Verabschiedung, Redewendungen), versuche aber, nicht zu übertreiben.
Dass ich ganze Sätze in einer Fantasy-Sprache verwende (oder gar Unterhaltungen in ihr schreibe) kommt sehr selten vor. Grundvoraussetzung ist, dass der PoV die Sprache nicht versteht, dass es also für den Perspektivencharakter genau der gleiche, unverständliche Kauderwelsch ist, den auch der Leser wahrnimmt. Statt der genauen Sätze schreibe ich an solchen Stellen meistens einfach: „Sie sagte etwas auf Orkisch“, oder „Die beiden unterhielten sich kurz auf zwergisch“.
Wichtig ist mir in erster Linie: Wenn der PoV es versteht (weil er orkisch/zwergisch spricht), sollte auf dem Leser eine Übersetzung angeboten werden.

»Wir wandern in Licht und Dunkelheit«, wandte Rayen sich an den Anführer, nachdem er Faroan und Ilunya ausgiebig gemustert hatte. »Samdolâ, mae scadainas.«
Auch die Dankesformel rief dem Senluam keine Regung in das fratzenhaft bemalte Gesicht.

»Naidrayu caemlan.«
»Natrajo kemlann?« […]
»Nai-dra-yu-caem-lan«, wiederholte Elyen betont langsam, als würde er versuchen, das verschliffene Wort in einzelne Silben zu pressen, »bedeutet Licht auf deinen Wegen, ihr sagt … auf Wiedersehen oder gute Reise.«

Ich verwende solche Phrasen und Begriffe, um zu zeigen, dass der Nicht-Fremdsprachler die fremde Kultur respektiert, sich mit ihr auskennt oder seinem Gesprächspartner eine gewisse Wertschätzung entgegenbringt / mit ihm und seiner Sprachkultur vertraut ist. Oder ich nutze es, um auf eine Sprachbarriere und Unverständnis hinzuweisen, das zwischen zwei Personen(-Gruppen) besteht.
Ein Satz in einer fremden Sprache sollte also nicht nur um der Sprache Willen in einer Geschichte stehen. Längere Dialoge müssen nicht ausgeschrieben werden, wenn weder der Leser noch der Perspektiventräger etwas von dem Gesagten verstehen. Egal wie ausgefeilt die erfundene Grammatik und wie wohlklingend der erstellte Wortschatz ist.

 

Grammatik-Fehler

Da schüttelt es mich immer. Selbst wenn ich weiß (oder zumindest glaube), dass der Autor seinen Figuren absichtlich falsche Grammatik in den Mund legt, vergeht mit sehr schnell der Lesespaß. Wenig verwunderlich also, dass meine Figuren ihre Grammatik beherrschen.
Eine Schwierigkeit sehe ich darin, dass nicht immer auf den ersten Blick erkennbar / verständlich ist, dass der Grammatikfehler von der Figur kommt und keine Nachlässigkeit des Autors ist. Aber selbst dann kann ich mich nicht mit „größer wie du“ oder „Kommst du heute bei mich?“ anfreunden.
Heidi Klum (muss man nicht kennen, ist nur das beste Beispiel, das mir bisher über den Weg gelaufen ist) liebt das Plusquamperfekt. Wo normale Menschen Imperfekt oder Präteritum verwenden (Ich war gestern in der Stadt / Ich bin gestern in der Stadt gewesen), setzt sie noch eins drauf (Ich war gestern in der Stadt gewesen). Ständig. Und ich könnte jedes Mal schreien. Würde mir in einem Roman eine solche Figur über den Weg laufen, das wäre ein Grund für mich, das Ding nie wieder anzugucken

In einer meiner älteren Geschichten gibt es allerdings eine Neben-Neben-Rand-Figur, die Sätze in diesem Stil von sich gibt:

»Jelarie? Die is dem Tjerne seine Tochter, musst’e wissen, Mädchen.«

Also quasi alle Punkte vereint, die ich in wörtlicher Rede sonst eher spärlich einsetze. Diese Figur soll seltsam rüberkommen und die ganze Geschichte ist mit einem Augenzwinkern geschrieben. Sie soll nicht ernst sein, sondern Spaß machen. Da darf auch eine skurille Nebenfigur nicht fehlen.
In der gleichen Geschichte gibt es einen Halb-Ork unter den Hauptpersonen, der – wenn er denn mal spricht – Perlen produziert wie: „Du müssen essen.“ oder „Dúrg nix machen Häuser kaputt. Dúrg machen gutes Kartegrafe.“
Heute würde ich solche Figuren vermutlich nicht mehr einbauen, aber im Kontext und zur Atmosphäre der Geschichte finde ich es immer noch passend.

 


Aus dem Nähkästchen

In einem meiner älteren Projekte ist das Aufeinandertreffen zweier unterschiedlicher Kulturen ein wichtiges Thema. Menschen (Devhen) und Elfen (Nordländer) verbünden sich gegen einen gemeinsamen Feind und arbeiten zum ersten Mal in der Geschichte beider Völker zusammen. Unweigerlich wird da auch Sprache und Verständigung ein Problem, das ich hin und wieder thematisiere.
Da die Nord nur 100 Leute schicken, um die Menschen zu unterstützen, ist klar, dass die Nord die menschliche Sprache lernen müssen. Ihr Anführer ordnet deshalb an, in Gegenwart von Menschen nur Devhi zu benutzen (auch wenn der Mensch gar nicht am Gespräch beteiligt ist), egal wie holprig die Verständigung wird.
Mehr aus Spaß als wirklich aus Notwendigkeit heraus ist irgendwann diese Szene enstanden:

Als Secco das Langhaus betrat, überrollte ihn ein Schwall nordischer Worte. Kurz wandte Luacan seine Aufmerksamkeit ihm zu, bevor er seinen Satz abbrach und in Devhi wechselte.
»Wir können einen Schwarmmagier von … vamerayo?«
»Die Bewacher«, half Sainlyr aus und grüßte Secco mit einem Nicken.
»- von seiner … von seinen Bewachern trennen und versuchen, zu … ihn zu locken – hinter den Schild, damit er aus dem – briscâ … direkter … direkten Einflussbereich ihrer Sprecher – Zauberer – fällt und … ciambeal?«
»Die Barriere.«
»- und die Barriere für die Canhai – Mactas? – entweder zu fallen müssen lässt -«
»Fallen lassen muss.«
»- fallen lassen muss, um eine eigene errichten … zu errichten, oder die ciam- die Barriere hält und uns nicht Widerstand setzen kann … entgegen setzen kann.«
Secco war es ein Rätsel, wie die neun Nordländer, die sich am Tisch versammelt hatten, diesen Ausführungen folgen und auch noch schlau daraus werden konnten.

Der Abschnitt ist nicht dazu gedacht, irgendwelche Infos an den Leser zu bringen und selbst der Protagonist versteht nicht, worum genau es in dieser Ausführung geht. Es macht mir manchmal einfach unheimlich Spaß, solche Sprachexperimente zu schreiben – auch wenn ich es oft nicht schaffe, sie dann auch halbwegs verständlich in eine Geschichte einzubauen.

Aber das ist ein ganz anderes Thema.




Veröffentlicht1. Mai 2016 von Lanna in Kategorie "Schreibgedanken

Über den Autor

verträumt, chaotisch, wortverliebt.

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